30 things I know in my 30, which would drastically change my life if I knew them in my 20.

30 Years Old Me as the Wiser Brother of 20 Years Old Me

Haven’t done too bad, I’d say! Yes, I’m happy with my life, but I’m not yet satisfied since I know I could have done much better. I’ve done a lot of things wrong, some of which now that I think about them was just so foolish and unforgivable. By adopting a little different perspective and acknowledging that I am not the smartest guy alive, I might have avoided many of those errors and had a very different life in my 30.

1. Have a mentor. Don’t try to experience EVERYTHING

I know, everyone is unique. We all live our own lives, and see things differently. That’s true, but there are many mistakes that we can avoid, simply by learning from others’ experiences. Not EVERYTHING is unique in our lives.

No matter who you are, how successful you are, or how famous you are, there is always someone better than you; Someone who might’ve done what you are planning to do in the future. Find that person in your life, learn more about them, talk to them, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Sometimes they open doors for you, the doors that you may spend years and millions of $ to learn how to open by yourself.

You don’t need to follow your mentor in every aspect of life and you’re not limited to having only one mentor. Feel free to have a role model in your personal life, while having another one in your business, gym, time management, and…

2. Avoid Alcohol and Drugs, but use Supplements

I’ve never been drunk and I never used drugs in my life. So I can’t say they don’t have any benefits, but what I can say for sure, is that they have many negative side effects, simply by comparing myself to similar people around me, with the only difference being the use of alcohol and drugs.

  • They have more financial burden
  • They make more wrong decisions
  • They regret more reactions and behaviors
  • They have less motivation and energy to plan and execute their goals

Supplements, on the other hand, can be and are useful. Learn more about your body and what you need, and make sure you don’t use it more than enough, or there won’t be any difference between you and a drug addict.

3. Go to the gym; make the Workout a second nature

You don’t need to have 6 packs, huge muscles, or lots of curves. Just stay healthy, and fitness comes along the way. Have the workout in your daily routine and make it your second nature.

Workout is not only affecting your appearance; What it does to you mentally is much more effective than its physical benefits. It teaches you how to plan, execute, be patient, and have consistency in order to reach your goals. Aside from that, the improvements in your body will result in more self-confidence, and that leads to better decision-making, which plays a big role in your success.

  • No one is that busy in life, to not have 45 minutes to 1 hour for the gym
  • Do it every day. Even if not the gym, but at least the workout, in or outside (walk, run, push-ups, etc…)
  • If you make a mistake in your day, don’t make it worse by skipping the workout. You don’t need to sleep to run away from negative thoughts. Just hit the damn gym!
  • If you can’t afford the gym, do it at home. There is no excuse, literally.

4. Keep Learning, EVERY SINGLE DAY!

You don’t need to master everything, but you need to learn about what’s going on in and around your life. Master a few things that you are passionate about, but keep learning about different subjects, depending on your lifestyle, the trends, the economy, and the world as a whole.

Reading 1 or 2 articles a day is easy, It takes 10 to 15 minutes usually, but after a while, it makes a big change in your life. Learn about different subjects in technology. For example, learn how to build a simple website (you don’t need to become a full-stack developer. Nowadays building a website doesn’t even require coding skills and knowledge). Learn about Cryptocurrency, Stocks, Trading, Investment, and …

Reading 1 article about each of those subjects, per day, takes around half an hour to a maximum of 1 hour (depending on how fast or slow learner you are). But at the end of the month, you know a lot about those subjects that you can do something new in your life, and if you keep doing that for 6 months, rest assured you can add a few new streams of income.

5. Enjoy your money, but don’t waste it

It’s totally fine to hangout with friends and get ice cream, and coffee, have dinner in a nice restaurant and have fun in parks, beaches, festivals, and … You make money to enjoy life more. Not to save it to end up sleeping forever in a luxury grave.

But be careful about it. Having fun is addictive, and if you overdo it, it’s really hard to change that habit.

I have a simple rule for myself: I use my money to have fun, only if I have at least the same amount of money at that moment to easily invest. Let me give you an example: If I decide to go watch a movie in the theatre, I know I will end up spending around $50 (minimum) that day to enjoy (ticket, popcorn, etc…). Now, I check my pocket to see if I have an additional $50 to invest (let’s say in Crypto). If yes, then I’ll easily go out and have fun, but if not, then I’ll invest that money and will postpone the movie to another day. (this method works for me. You find your own method, as long as you get the main idea. The goal is just to enjoy as much as you can afford. Now it’s up to you how to handle the situation)

There is also another fact that can help you waste less money and spend it wisely. As I said before, having too much fun with money is addictive. When you spend money and buy something new, you will enjoy a moment. That joy is coming from the brain releasing chemicals. That can happen in different ways and by doing different things. Once you find yourself in a situation where you may end up buying stupid things, wait for a little, think and see what is the fastest alternative way to get that joy without wasting money and do. Once your brain releases that chemical, you no longer are tempted as before to buy that thing.

6. Learn How to Invest

You will never enjoy life as much as you deserve, as long as you work a regular job, and by regular job I mean you get paid for your hours, and if you don’t spend those hours, you get nothing.

It doesn’t matter how many hours you can work in a day, how many days a week, and how much you get paid per hour, it still won’t be enough to enjoy life a lot. In the best-case scenario, you will be able to pay your rent, and bills and hardly afford your meals, and maybe 2 or 3 days of fun in a month.

  • What if you get sick all of a sudden?
  • What if you find someone you love and you decide to go on a date?
  • What if you get invited somewhere and you don’t have a proper outfit/clothes?

Learn how to invest, how money works, and how to double your money (as always, start small. just start by learning how to double a small investment. Remember, turning $1K into $1M is just 9 steps of doubling the investment)

7. You have enough time for many things IF you wish so

No one is that “busy” not to have time for:

  • a few minutes of reading
  • a few minutes of workout
  • a message to a loved one to express your feeling
  • cleaning the bed after waking up
  • calling loved ones and talking to them for a few minutes
  • going out with others [or alone] and re-fill the mental energy

and if you say you are that busy, then it shows how much you suck at time management. Let me break it down for you: let’s say you sleep 8 hours [cool. what a standard person. I hope you do as great in other aspects of your life!], 10 hours of working/job [damn! what a hardworking person. 10 hours a day, 7 days a week? you rock buddy!], 1 hour for meals, and 1 hour for personal care [what’s up Victoria Secret?!]. You still have 4 hours remaining which you can spend on all the stuff listed above. It is worth mentioning majority of the people don’t sleep 8 hours and don’t work 10 hours every single day. So, there are usually more than 4 hours left which can be filled with tons of useful things to do.

8. No one loves and cares about you more than yourself

Don’t be selfish, but prioritize yourself. Spend your money, time, and energy wisely, and try to build yourself up first. If something remains, then be kind enough to help people around you.

Remember, most people won’t even show up when you are in need [not necessarily because they are bad. Maybe because they really can’t. Let’s put it that way for God’s sake!]. You are the only person [and the best one] who can protect you, who cares about you and loves you more than anything and anyone else in the world.

If you’re working for someone, remember, no matter how good or loyal you are, they can still play with you by:

  • not paying you enough
  • not paying you on-time
  • not providing incentives
  • complaining even when it’s their own fault

So, as soon as possible, create a side hustle in which you have control over the things listed above. Otherwise, you always live a stressful life, no matter how much you get paid for that job. Again, it doesn’t matter how good you are and how nice your employer is, eventually they’ll prioritize themselves and justify their decisions when they start playing with you, and if that job is your only source of income, then you’re screwed.

9. Don’t have Trust Issues, but trust Very Carefully

A world in which everyone is honest, kind, trustworthy, and responsible is nothing but a fairytale. This is a dark truth, believe it or not.

So far in my life, I got hit hard three times due to blindly trusting others, all of which took me a long time to recover. NO ONE, again, NO ONE is good enough for you to blindly trust them. So, if you need to rely on someone for anything, do your own due diligence very carefully. Remember, when people abuse your trust, they also become the master of justifying their behavior; So, you’ll never win the argument with them.

10. “Your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.” – David Allen

Start using different tools to store and manage different data, analyze them, categorize, archive, and set reminders to keep things professional and neat, as well as keep your mind as free as possible.

Sure, the brain is so powerful, but being powerful doesn’t mean you have to use it however you want. For every single need, there are multiple tools created to free up your mind so that you can focus on more important things instead of trying to remember what to do at what time and where and why, and with whom in exchange for what!

Have a digital calendar, a digital notebook [one that also lets you add To-Dos and Reminders], an email client to manage all your email addresses in one place, cloud storage to have all your files accessible anywhere anytime, a password manager, and of course Books software to manage your financials. (obviously have a few business-related tools as well [if it applies] and avoid manual work as much as possible. Things like CRM, Project Manager, Tickets, etc…)

11. Have Social Media Accounts, but manage your Feeds and Notifications

It’s fine to have social media accounts, as long as you don’t get addicted to them. Companies spend billions of $ to study users’ psychology in order to implement the features to keep you scrolling and spending as much time as possible. Be aware of that.

Stop following hundreds or thousands of accounts, with notifications on for every event. Only follow what you need or like, and it’s fine to unfollow once you no longer are interested. Set in your account’s settings what you want to see in your feed, and manage the notifications to only alert you when there is something that you really care about. [or even better, turn off the notifications, and have a set time to check your accounts for what you care about. This way you can stay focused during the day]

12. Let the Results talk

Stop talking about your plans, especially if they are still just a few plans and nothing more. People are in two groups:

  • Negative: they will drain your motivation and energy, and will keep throwing random negative opinions about you and your plans to convince you to not pursue your dreams.
  • Positive: they usually can’t help you, but the fact that you told them your plans, puts pressure on you, because you may end up failing in that plan, and that makes things harder for you.

Just focus on your plans, and if you really need to talk about them with someone, make sure you limit them to the ones that really are related to your plans. People will notice it once you successfully reach your goals.

13. Don’t hide or kill your inner child

We all have different hobbies. Don’t let others say what is right or wrong for you when it comes to choosing your hobbies.

If you enjoy walking, do it, if you enjoy playing video games, do it, if you enjoy window-shopping, do it. That’s you. Don’t let others form your personality, and never be shy to talk about your hobbies with others.

14. Communicate Properly, in Business and in Personal Life

I can’t even count the number of times I missed a good opportunity due to the lack of proper communication. When you don’t communicate, you can’t expect magic to happen. People have their own lives and can’t read your mind. If something needs to be said, say it. If you need to ask something, ask. Don’t assume others know it or will know it eventually.

Lack of proper communication can destroy relationships, break trust, ruin opportunities, and bring regrets.

  • If you need help, ASK. There are many people around you who can help you, but they won’t know you need help until you ask.
  • If you borrow money and can’t return it on time, let them know before the due date and explain to them respectfully what is happening and when they can expect the return.
  • If you have an issue with someone, clearly convey the meaning. Don’t play a game and put them in a situation to guess what’s wrong and why. People usually tend to suck at guessing what they’ve done wrong [otherwise they wouldn’t do it in the first place!]. So save yourself a headache [and a relationship] and TALK.

15. If you love someone, let them know [and vice versa, but carefully]

I totally get it: some people enjoy the ME TIME much more than being around others. But if you don’t love anyone or are not capable of loving someone, you are sick. First, go ahead and fix that.

Assuming you now have the ability to be with someone, here are 2 possible scenarios:

  • Either you love the person and want to be with them: Let them know about your plan. If you don’t be crystal clear about it, you may end up hurting yourself, and it hurts a lot when you love someone way more than what they do or what they are capable of understanding.
  • Or you know you don’t have any long-term plan for that relationship: then again let them know, but carefully and respectfully. Don’t make them get attached more than what they have to. Otherwise, you’ll hurt them in the end.

16. Have a Self-Improvement session every quarter

Every 3 months, sit down with whom you spent time the most within the past 3 months, and ask them 1 simple question: If you could change 1 single thing about me, that bothered you in the past 3 months, what that would be?

If you see they are right, then work on yourself in the next 3 months to fix that problem. This way every year, you fix 4 personality issues, and that’s a huge change. You and everyone around you will notice it, and you’ll live a better life. (don’t push it harder. You don’t need to fix all your problems at once. Take small steps to make sure you do it the right way)

17. You don’t have to follow the trend at all costs to be happy

New iPhone just released? New laptop? Cool shoes? Watches? etc…

It will never end. Until you catch some of them, a new wave will come. You’ll never be able to stay up to date with all of them. But here is the thing: you don’t need it to be happy. You don’t need them to even be successful.

Whenever you get tempted to get the newest thing, ask yourself a simple question: do I really NEED it? [usually, the answer to the question is: NO]

Prioritize your needs over your interests/wants [as long as you’re not balling the way to afford both at the same time], and stop spending your little to no hard-earned money on dumb stuff.

18. Appreciate, while you still have

Call your loved ones regularly [I’m not saying call them every day. But be in touch with them regularly]. Visit them if they are close. Enjoy the healthy body you have and go out and have fun. Hit the gym and improve yourself while you can, and get the most out of the opportunities that you have.

Remember, nothing is forever; Everything has an expiration date, soon or late you’ll lose the things you have, one by one, and you’ll get new things and new people in your life. So, appreciate the things and the people, while you have them in your life. Once they are gone, they are gone. Regret won’t bring them back.

19. Don’t lie, especially about and to yourself

No one can be 100% honest, 100% of the time and I’m not asking you to be the first. All I’m saying is, BE YOURSELF. Don’t play a role. Don’t make a fake you.

  • If you don’t have something, don’t show off fakely
  • If you don’t know something, don’t pretend to be the genius who knows everything
  • If you don’t like something, don’t stupidly act cool just to please the crowd

Be yourself, and try to be a little better every single day. You can’t always be the best in all aspects. It’s totally fine to be average sometimes.

20. Help others if you can, but don’t expect anything in return

Being able to help others is a fortune. But if you really want to enjoy it, do it without any expectation.

The problem is, that the majority of the people are just takers and not givers. If you are the kind of person who helps others a lot, you will end up helping lots of people who will never do anything for you in return. So, if you expect anything, you will only bother yourself, and guess what, some people not only won’t appreciate your help but also will piss you off with their behaviors after they no longer need your help.

So, do yourself a favor and help people and forget about it.

21. People don’t think about you, as much as you think they do

Stop trying so hard to impress others. Live your own life and try to be your own best, and others will be impressed automatically.

The thing is, most of the time, primarily when you act the way you are not in real life, you do things out of your reach to impress others, and that costs you a lot of time, money, and energy and usually, it doesn’t have the outcome or the result you were hoping for.

22. Don’t love or care about others more than what they deserve or are capable of

By default, it’s safe to assume everyone deserves to be loved. But love and care are so valuable, express them wisely.

When you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t see your effort, first communicate, but don’t waste time. Once you see you gave enough chance to fix things, but still it doesn’t work, just let it go. Remember, not all our choices are right. We make a lot of mistakes, and that’s fine. Move on.

In your job, in most cases, just do what you are asked; you DON’T HAVE TO do much more. It happens a lot that you want to surprise or impress your boss, and you do much more than what is expected from you, but in the end, instead of seeing a great reaction, you’ll get disappointed because your boss will see a tiny little delay in your work instead of the hundreds of hours and thousands of $ that you saved for the company down the road. Most companies close their eyes not to see the great additional effort you put into your job, but they have the sharpest eyes to catch the smallest error.

23. You can’t please everyone

A wise man once said: “I don’t know the guaranteed way to success, but the shortcut to failure is to try to please everyone”.

No matter how good you are, how much you try to help others, how successful and popular you become, and how humble you behave, there are still haters out there. It is what it is, and you can’t change it.

Don’t spend too much energy pleasing everyone, and don’t get upset when you face haters.

24. Watch your mouth! You can ruin EVERYTHING with one sentence!

It may take years to build a relationship, but it can take just a single sentence to ruin it all. Be very careful with what comes out of your mouth.

Sometimes you may not mean it the way it looks, but because of the way you phrase it, you may sound mean and that can cost you a lot.

When it’s time to talk, take your sweet time and think, before you say anything.

25. You’re not always right. Open your eyes.

People are living their own [different] life and they experience different things that you might’ve not. Others study different subjects that you have no clue about. They see the world in a different way than you.

Most of the time, there is more than just 1 correct answer, and yours may not even be one of them. Don’t insist too much on your opinion and be open to hearing others’ opinions as well. You never know, you may end up finding the keys to locked doors in your life in between those differences.

26. You can’t do it all by yourself. Start Networking!

Let’s say you lived a few decades, studied a few subjects, read hundreds of books, and experienced dozens of businesses, and you have a good understanding of the roadblocks and the ways to succeed in your next plan.

But still, you won’t be enough if you be all alone by yourself. Others are doing almost the same as you, with the difference that they focus on other stuff, and that’s the cool thing about diversity. So, team up as soon as possible and get ready to take the next steps.

But be careful about whom you choose to be your teammate.

27. Listen More, Talk Less. You’ll be loved and learn more.

When someone NEEDS to talk to you, LISTENING to them helps them much more than TALKING to them. I’m not saying sit there and don’t talk at all. No! They probably are seeking advice. But, first, be a good listener.

While you are listening to them, you not only help them calm down but also learn a lot of life lessons. On top of that, it’s been proven to me, that most people have their answers in their own speech [they just don’t see them because they are in a bad situation]. You just need to listen to them, find those answers, and help them focus on their own words, and that’s when they accept it more.

28. Don’t judge others

Judging others hurts you first [sometimes, you are the only one who gets hurt!]. It’s been proven to me that we all suck at judging people. [knowing differs from judging. If you know something about someone for a fact, that’s different]

If something is suspicious, communicate, or if it’s not possible, do your own due diligence. Avoid judging at all costs. Judging only wastes your energy, and it usually doesn’t have any outcome.

29. Have “Me Time” [and let your partner have it too]

Every now and then, have a day off for yourself, all by yourself, and no one else [and when I say NO ONE, I mean it]. Just think about your past, your current situation, and your future plans. Your behaviors, your mistakes, how to improve yourself, and how to enjoy life more.

I usually get a lot of motivation every time I have ME TIME, it usually has immediate effects on my life.

30. Set boundaries. Absolute freedom is destructive.

You need to set boundaries in your life, for yourself and for others. Having no rules is dangerous. Have a clear set of rules in your life, and honor them.

Having rules set for life doesn’t mean you are not enjoying life as much or you are putting restrictions on yourself. It just means you have discipline, and you know what you are doing.

If people don’t respect your boundaries, it’s totally fine to cut them off from your life. Remember, when someone ignores your boundaries, they are forcing their own boundaries into your life; so if it’s a battle, don’t choose to be the loser.

Hamed Azimi

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